An ode to my (internet) love....

Except I am not really going to write an ode, because, let's face it, I suck at poetry.  I don't even like reading it.  I'm damn sure not going to write it.

But, back to my non-ode....Google, I love thee!  How on Earth did we survive for thousands of millenia without Google?  Without the internets??  I look back, even to just high school, and wonder how different it would have been if I had been wired.  Hmmm.

Tonight, I had to vacuum.  Very exciting, I know.  I lead an impossibly exciting life-there are days where I am just absolutely sure that I may drop dead if things get any more intriguing.  Tonight was one of those nights.  I was not only going to vacuum, I was also planning on......wait for it.........MOPPING!  MOPPING!  My nine-thousandth favorite thing to do!  And tonight was the night.  The excitement, the joy!  However, I had to get through the vacuuming (my 9002nd favorite thing to do-it narrowly lost to dusting).  Lucky for me, I have this incredible vacuum cleaner.  I am a crazy fool and spent entirely too much money on a Dyson vacuum.  I mean, the thing doesn't even vacuum for me, no, I still have to do that.

Anyways-for those of you wondering what the hell this has to do with my Google infatuation-the beater bar on the vacuum wasn't working.  I'm a well-learned sort of individual-I immediately turned the vacuum cleaner upside down and opened it up, expecting to need to replace the belt.

Well, no.  The belt was fine.  More than fine.  Looked mostly new.  I cleaned up the bar, thinking maybe it's had enough of having my hair all tangled up in it...nope, didn't fix it.

What to do?  Ah, of course.  Google!  I googled "Dyson carpet bar does not work" and voila!  In a matter of seconds, I had my solution.  It took less time to find the solution than it did to actually apply the solution.

What isn't there to love about Google?  Where else can you look up the lyrics to your favorite song?  See naked pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio?  Learn what to do to fix your Dyson?  Stalk your friends and enemies?  Oh, wait, no, that's Facebook.  Where else would I have learned that I am suffering from hypothyroidism, depression, stress, Lyme Disease, Irritable Bowel Disease, and general malaise, with a good dose of binge drinking thrown in there every once in awhile?  Google, of course!

And if you think you've reached the ends of the internets?  (I have nearly done this-I was horrified at what lay ahead...nothing new to read!).  Simply Google some random and fascinating subject.  Or, Facebook your former enemy and note with glee how fat they've gotten...oh wait.  I never, ever do that.  Never.  Besides, this post is about Google, not Facebook. 

I have always thought that the public library was the greatest invention ever.  I may have to revise that thought, and allow Google to take the number one position.  Right now though, the library still holds number one by just a slight margin....after all, you can access Google at the public library!


PS-Happy St. Patrick's day to my friends...who are out at the bar....without me.  :(